Pranab Gets a Call and ‘I’ Become Happy

It is strange how one reacts to events in other people’s lives even if they do not concern us. This is especially true when such events happen in the lives of people in positions of power.

Whenever I hear that some politician reached late to some destination because he/she was stuck in a traffic jam, it strangely makes me happy. And, if this traffic jam is due to just five minutes of rain, then even better. The recent news of our Union Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee getting an unsolicited telemarketing call in the middle of a very serious high-level meeting, made me ecstatic! The icing on the cake was that apparently other politicians like Sushma Swaraj too complained of the same.

Why did this news item make ‘me’ so happy? Am I being a sadist? How does it matter to me who calls Pranab Mukherjee and when? How does it matter if some politician gets stuck in traffic jam as long as I am not in it? Well, the answer is simple. It gives me pleasure to know that these people in positions of power face the same problems as you and I do, even if occasionally. If they can get hounded by telemarketers, then lesser mortals like me should not complain.

Irrespective of whether that telemarketer is traced down or not, irrespective of whether Pranab Mukherjee gets another such call in future or not, one thing is for sure. He experienced, even if for a moment, what we experience every day, every hour, if not every minute (thank God for small mercies!!). Given his powerful position and influence, he called Telecom Minister A Raja and asked him to look into the matter. Hopefully, this one voice would get heard by Raja even though the voices of lakhs of people like us, could not reach his ears. It is this hope against hope that makes me happier.

The likelihood of the telemarketer who called Pranab Mukherjee, reading this blog is negligible. Nevertheless, I would like to take this opportunity to thank him/her for helping the common man reach the Telecom Minister, even if done unknowingly. We know you shall never be caught and the issue would die down soon but still, bravo!

To other telemarketers who may be reading, why not do some good for the country? There are many politicians who need that miraculous Sauna belt that you have to offer. Some need Engliss (not English) speaking classes. With some MPs crying for a salary increase, why not offer them a personal loan or, a credit card? Wait a minute, why am I advising you guys? You are masters in this game and you have some very innovative ways to grab attention. If a person does not say ‘yes’ to one telemarketer then, another person from the same company calls again and tries even harder till you actually plead for being left alone. And, recently these mass SMSes, just love them! Just when one thinks that here is a person who may be trying to pass on some important piece of information without disturbing me, I get an sms to get my car fixed. It does not matter whether I own one or, not. As if the day time was not enough, now I get SMSes even in the middle of the night. Well, it is very important for a good sleep to know that if my tap breaks down, here is a plumber waiting for me or, if I suddenly realize that I need a pet, then help is at hand.

Apparently, the telemarketer who called Pranab Mukherjee offered him a loan. My suggestion to Pranab Mukherjee, please go ahead, take that loan and donate the money to the exchequer. It may help you bring down your fiscal deficit, even if it is by .000001 percent.

There are some wild ideas coming to my mind now that I am at it. Let me share them with you. Imagine, Sheila Dixit is on her way to the Commonwealth Games venue and she gets a call for an accident insurance. Well, I pray for her safety but, insurance just makes one safer. And, why would she need that, do I even need to explain? Next, imagine Pranab Mukherjee getting a call for a shampoo that can help him control his receding hairline. Am sure, he would be interested as much as you and I are. Then, P. Chidambaram while visiting some Maoist affected areas, gets an SMS about a newly launched pepper spray. Am sure he too would be interested. He can claim to control some of the Maoists, even if for a couple of hours. In the meantime, he can give his speech and run back to New Delhi. Now, coming to Sonia Gandhi. Telemarketers tell us that every female should start using an anti-ageing cream from the time she turns 30 and Ms Gandhi is way past that. I don’t know whether she is using some anti-ageing cream or not, but she would surely be delighted to know that there is a new cream in the market that can help her look young forever… I am actually tempted to go on but, I shall not because I cannot stop laughing. Just the thought of these informative calls to politicians is making me so happy, imagine how happy would I get when this actually happens?

Come on, telemarketers, spread some cheer. There are many people like me who would enjoy this. You make our blood boil so many times, why not bring a smile on our faces for a change. We listen to you 20 times a day, we deserve this much atleast in return… Cheers to that!

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About the Author: Shobhika Puri

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